Goodbye Mr. Gru

I did not think my first post here would be under these circumstances. This might be one of the hardest posts I’ll ever have to write. Yesterday we had to say goodbye to Mr. Gru. Before we did I read this letter to him and I am going to share it with all of you so you can know just how special he was.

A letter to Mr. Gru:

My gentle giant, your best friend is a lion head bunny, that in itself should tell anyone what kind of dog you are. This letter is to you, even though you might not understand the words, I want you to feel how special you are when I read it to you.

I lost my first dog 6 months after I was diagnosed with MS, it was devastating. I wrestled with the idea of getting another dog. Almost 2 years went by. During that time I wasn’t quite sure where my life was going, I wasn’t sure what to do for work, how long I would be living at home, there were so many unknowns. Then one day I saw your face on Twitter, I was following someone who was volunteering to take pictures for HART (Humane Animal Rescue Team) and there you were. I don’t know why, but I knew you were meant to be with me. By the time I applied, there was already a family in Calgary that wanted you. I still had to convince mom and dad, so when I heard that I figured it was for the best. But wouldn’t you know it, they backed out and I was next in line. You were your foster Mom’s first, we both weren’t quite sure what we were doing, but we made it work. One day you showed up at the house, mom and dad were resistant at first, but by your second visit I knew you were meant to be ours, and despite needing some convincing, I think they did too. All we knew about you was that you were a stray from a Reserve. Full grown you are almost 100 pounds, when they found you, you were 39. Your paws were frozen, you had worms and we weren’t quite sure how old you were.

From day one with us, a dog that was clearly starving for who knows how long, you would never even dream of stealing food and would never be aggressive if we took away your food. The torture it must have been then, and probably still now that there always seems to be some kind of sausage hanging to dry on the kitchen cabinet handle. The only thing you took in that first month was a food wrapper I left on a coffee table. You backed away slowly to your bed and tried opening it in hopes there might be a scrap in there for you. It broke my heart because that must have been how you survived. You winced if we moved our hands to fast, any loud noise would terrify you, you were terrified of glass bus shelters and in the entire time you have been with us you have barked maybe 10 times in the 7 years we have had you. We weren’t sure what had happened to you, but it didn’t seem to matter. You love with every ounce of your being. People, dogs, cats and even bunnies. You have made countless fans out of people who are “not dog people” or who are scared of big dogs. The most aggressive thing you are capable of is pinching with your little front teeth when you want attention. This might explain why this next part of your story is so shocking. 

Just over a year of you coming into our lives you developed a cough, we were told it was just a cold. It went away only to come back a couple weeks later which finally uncovered something unimaginable. Someone had shot you before you were rescued. You were shot and left to die. You are still full of shotgun pellets. You went into respiratory arrest, your lung collapsed from a massive infection, 4 litres of infected blood and fluid were drained out of you. Every day you were at the animal hospital I didn’t know where I would find the money to save you, but I had to, there was no way I was letting you die. You fought so hard. The staff there were smitten with you and you were so in love with them even though you were scared. And to me my dear boy, you trusted me to save you and everyone could see it. When your lung didn’t recover it was determined half of it would need to be removed in order to give you a chance. A major surgery on top of all these other major procedures, I couldn’t afford it and didn’t know if you would survive it. The vet reminded me that someone had shot you and left you and you made it through with nothing. Nothing. No pain killers, no antibiotics, nothing. But unlike then, you made it through because so many amazing people around me also decided you were so special, so many people, including the surgeon agreed you deserved a fighting chance and my god were we right. You recovered from a surgery that was supposed to take 3 months to heal from in 2 weeks. I truly believe that the only thing that removing half of your lung did to you was make more room for your massive heart.

Over the years my life changed, it was full of ups and downs and you were always there. Always there whether I moved away or came back. Every time I moved away it killed me to leave you, but with everything, I knew it wasn’t fair to take you away from your home. It wasn’t fair to leave you alone, while you could be home all day with your family you love so dearly.

Gru, I especially owe you for leading me down this incredible new path I am on. Our walks have always been some of my most favourite memories. When mom and dad went away the summer of 2019 we spent so much time together. And if it wasn’t for you Gru, I’m not sure if I would have let Paul into my life. I told him I walk you every night and that his only option was to come along if he wanted to spend time with me. Well Gru, you loved Paul instantly and intensely. Your desire to walk forever led us on 2 hours late night walks, talking, laughing, getting to know each other in a way I had never experienced before. Paul loved you, and watching the two of you, I couldn’t help but let down my guard. It was when you didn’t lose your mind when you saw him a few months ago that I really knew something was wrong.

As I write this with tears in my eyes, I sit here so desperate to save you, almost even more than the first time, because Gru, you proved me so right. I knew you deserved a chance to live, and my god did you live. You are Mr. Gru, Scooby Gru, Gruszka, Gruvie Star, Gruzzly Bear, Grudolf, Grucifer, Grufasa, Gru Paul, Rampage soccer celebrity and so much more. But Gru as much as you have lived your amazing life, you helped us all live ours, and I know deep down that that was always your priority.

Thank you will never be enough my sweet boy.